I am continually realizing how much I have to learn about giving my life up to God.
Somehow I have come to think that I should be allowed the privelage of knowing exactly what will be happening in my life in the next month, the next year, or even the next 2 years. As I become more dependant on myself, I become less dependant on God and learning how to trust him. When I try and fix a situation by taking control of it and making certain that the end result is what I want, I feel relieved. But not the relief I should be feeling, becuase I have not given that situation over to God. I realize that I do not allow God to work in my life, because I spend too much time working my own life that I leave little room for him. And I can only imagine how that makes him feel.
As I was talking to my new mother in law this past weekend, I realized that in my heart I have not yet found peace about this issue. I have not fully been able to let my life go in to the hands of God and allow God to work through my life instead of myself. I try and plan my future so I know the road that I am heading and will not have to be thrown off my different road blocks along the way. I want to know where I am headed and how I am going to get there. Have any of you felt this way? You need so desperately to know the exact plans that God has for you, that you try and plan them out yourself instead of letting him plan them and show us that plan in his own time.
I have a lot to learn. God has the perfect plan for Stephen and my life. He knows exactly where we will be next year and the years to come. Shouldn't that be enough for me? Shouldn't that be enough for me to be able to be at peace knowing the Almighty, all powerful, all loving God wants to take care of me! That all his plans are for the good of those who love him. That he doesn't want me to worry or plan out things, he wants to take care of it. I think my problem is that I just need to let him.
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We all want to know what's coming. We all try to control what's going to happen next, some of us, specifically ME, more than others. You're not by yourself. My wife and I have been going through something for about 2 years and a half now and have tried everything within our power to make it happen. It hasn't and according to 'some people', it won't. We aren't giving up. We know the promises God has made to us and we're holding onto those promises.
I think a lot of times. We say, "God I give it to You and I trust that You're going to handle this problem." Ten minutes later we turn right back around and pick the problem up and walk away with it when we should have LEFT IT at the altar. When we pick these things back up we're tieing God's hands. Our Heavenly Father is a gentleman and He's not going to push himself upon us. He's waiting for us to back up and let Him take care of that problem. He says, "My yoke is easy and My burden is light." You're not by yourself. Other's struggle with this too but the first step to fixing the problem and realizing that YOU are the problem.
BACK UP AND LET GOD FIX IT!
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