I am continually realizing how much I have to learn about giving my life up to God.
Somehow I have come to think that I should be allowed the privelage of knowing exactly what will be happening in my life in the next month, the next year, or even the next 2 years. As I become more dependant on myself, I become less dependant on God and learning how to trust him. When I try and fix a situation by taking control of it and making certain that the end result is what I want, I feel relieved. But not the relief I should be feeling, becuase I have not given that situation over to God. I realize that I do not allow God to work in my life, because I spend too much time working my own life that I leave little room for him. And I can only imagine how that makes him feel.
As I was talking to my new mother in law this past weekend, I realized that in my heart I have not yet found peace about this issue. I have not fully been able to let my life go in to the hands of God and allow God to work through my life instead of myself. I try and plan my future so I know the road that I am heading and will not have to be thrown off my different road blocks along the way. I want to know where I am headed and how I am going to get there. Have any of you felt this way? You need so desperately to know the exact plans that God has for you, that you try and plan them out yourself instead of letting him plan them and show us that plan in his own time.
I have a lot to learn. God has the perfect plan for Stephen and my life. He knows exactly where we will be next year and the years to come. Shouldn't that be enough for me? Shouldn't that be enough for me to be able to be at peace knowing the Almighty, all powerful, all loving God wants to take care of me! That all his plans are for the good of those who love him. That he doesn't want me to worry or plan out things, he wants to take care of it. I think my problem is that I just need to let him.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Some random thoughts...
This weekend Stephen and I are driving up to Caronport (leaving Friday) to spend some time with his family. The biggest reason we are going for the visit is so that I can drop Stephen off for his week long class next week at Briercrest College. He is taking a "modular" class, I think it is a Junior High Minitries Modular class. Which, if you put two and two together...leaves me on my own next week! For the first time since I've been a married woman! I keep thinking about what in the heck I am going to do for 5 long days without my husband! How am I going to sleep at night without him there, or come home to an empty house.I found just the solution...have my best friend Carissa over for some sleepovers! Whooo Hooooo! We haven't been able to spend a lot of time together because she is currently a student at the University of Saskatchewan and since married life I've been incredibly busy.
So I am so excited to be able to spend some time with her and just hang out.
I think its been an adjustment for all since Stephen and I have been married. Trying to let people know that we still want to hang out:) And that we love having people over. Sometimes people seem to get this perception that because we are married now, we only want to spend time with each other (although I know that happens with some couples!). We love our friends dearly and never want to take them for granted or lose our relationships with them!
There seems to be endless things to do this week. Just little errands here and there that add up. Run to the bank, stop off and get a hair cut, pick up this, go get that, make cookies, vacuum house. Tomorrow is my afternoon off, so I'm going to be running all of my errands, including going to the bank and finally changing my name! (It was the last place on my list...and its definitly been waiting too long!).
Crazy thing happened yesterday...an older man got hit yesterday in front of my office while crossing the street (and no he wasn't J-walking! He was using the crosswalk!). It was really horrible. The ambulance came, and the firetrucks and 3 or 4 police cars. They blocked off the street and were able to get him into the ambulance and off to the hospital. He didn't seem to be moving, which was really scary. His poor wife looked distraught. Can you imagine? I haven't heard of how he is doing, and there was nothing in the paper about the incident so hopefully the man is ok.
I suppose it is time for me to leave, I need to get some work done one of these days!
Blessings to you all.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Do not be anxious about ANYTHING
Yesterday at church I think I almost was on the verge of a mental collapse. My mind was racing, and the more and more I realized I had to do, the more overwhelmed I became. I was having some definite anxiety.
You see...I am involved in Church Ministry. Youth Ministry to be exact. My husband Stephen is currently doing his internship at our church, Cornerstone Mennonite for a BA in Youth Ministry. For any of you that have ever been involved in any Ministry involving the church, whether is be Camp related, or Music, or leadership in the church(elders), or Youth Ministry, you will understand how mentally and physically exhausting it can be. If we are not careful...we can quickly run ourselves into the ground and eventually run out of steam before we have even began. Somehow putting 8 hours into a day, soon becomes 10, then 12 and so on. We love our jobs so much, that all we want to do is serve, but we forget that we need to be careful about taking care of ourselves and our families.
I love being apart of Youth Ministry. I love the kids and I love being able to watch as they grow in Christ and begin to understand why exactly they are here on this earth. What is even better is that my husband and I both love to do it together. He is a wonderful leader, and a gifted speaker, teacher and mentor. I am a gifted at administrating, teaching, organizing and leading as well. We tend to both get involved in many things because we love doing them, and we are good at them. The problem lies in the amount of time we have to give.
I find myself restling with thoughts that go something like this..."God, I don't have time for all of this! What about my husband...we are just newly married. Why dont' I feel like we have enough time together. I can't handle all these things God! A full time job, a full time comittment to jr. high and sr. high ministries! God, HELP!"
But am I feeling selfish? Is it really warranted that I feel this way? I wrestle with those things. My life seems completely full. I work a full time job, mon-fri, and also work 2 nights a week at a local christian coffee shop...I am at youth 2 nights a week, and then saturday nights for college and career. I run a cell group for 11 junior high girls...and I help out at church with the nursary and wherever else they may need me. Sometimes I can get anxious about any one of these things. Like yesterday...my mind goes over all the things I have to do in the coming week. It starts to become overwhelmed because in the midst of all of my commitments and work I wonder when I will get to spend a night with my husband, or with my family?
I think I understand today what God was trying to teach me yesterday. I am trying to do all these things on my own. Which, consequently, makes them seem harder AND more frustrating and overwhelming. I am reminded of the verse from Phillipians that says:
"Do not be anxious about anything but in everthing, by PRAYER and PETITION, present your
requests to God. And the PEACE of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Phillipians 4:6-7
God takes away our anxiousness and in its place brings peace. Not any peace, but one that transcends all understanding...one that none of us can even imagine! And he promises that his peace will guard our hearts and minds in him. Something I definitly need to do more of...PRAY. Pray and ask God to take those things that I am dealing with, that seem overwhelming, frustrating and out of my control in Youth Ministry and just give them to him. Tell him to use me for the work of his Kingdom and resist the urge to do things on my own.
To be able to, in the moment of extreme stressful and anxiety, whether during a youth event, or getting ready for 3 differnet talks, or whatever it may be, sit down and just pray, "Lord, take this and let it glorify you Father. Help me to release any anxiety I have and know that you are with me and will carry me through this when I can't"
God is starting to teach Stephen and I about what ministry is all about. About the time committment, the long hours, the worrying about students, the setting up and taking down, the planning, the organizing, the pressures, the mental stretching. He is starting to shape us in ways we didn't think were possible, all the while we want to serve and follow him. It is tough a lot of the time, but we know this is where God wants us to be. We learning when to say no to things...and when to say yes. And we are learning how to protect each other and be able to encourage each other in Christ. We love what we do, and we want to continue to pray and ask God to give us strength to not burn ourselves out, and to take all of our worries, cares and anxieties to him. He is the only one that will give us, me...true peace.
You see...I am involved in Church Ministry. Youth Ministry to be exact. My husband Stephen is currently doing his internship at our church, Cornerstone Mennonite for a BA in Youth Ministry. For any of you that have ever been involved in any Ministry involving the church, whether is be Camp related, or Music, or leadership in the church(elders), or Youth Ministry, you will understand how mentally and physically exhausting it can be. If we are not careful...we can quickly run ourselves into the ground and eventually run out of steam before we have even began. Somehow putting 8 hours into a day, soon becomes 10, then 12 and so on. We love our jobs so much, that all we want to do is serve, but we forget that we need to be careful about taking care of ourselves and our families.
I love being apart of Youth Ministry. I love the kids and I love being able to watch as they grow in Christ and begin to understand why exactly they are here on this earth. What is even better is that my husband and I both love to do it together. He is a wonderful leader, and a gifted speaker, teacher and mentor. I am a gifted at administrating, teaching, organizing and leading as well. We tend to both get involved in many things because we love doing them, and we are good at them. The problem lies in the amount of time we have to give.
I find myself restling with thoughts that go something like this..."God, I don't have time for all of this! What about my husband...we are just newly married. Why dont' I feel like we have enough time together. I can't handle all these things God! A full time job, a full time comittment to jr. high and sr. high ministries! God, HELP!"
But am I feeling selfish? Is it really warranted that I feel this way? I wrestle with those things. My life seems completely full. I work a full time job, mon-fri, and also work 2 nights a week at a local christian coffee shop...I am at youth 2 nights a week, and then saturday nights for college and career. I run a cell group for 11 junior high girls...and I help out at church with the nursary and wherever else they may need me. Sometimes I can get anxious about any one of these things. Like yesterday...my mind goes over all the things I have to do in the coming week. It starts to become overwhelmed because in the midst of all of my commitments and work I wonder when I will get to spend a night with my husband, or with my family?
I think I understand today what God was trying to teach me yesterday. I am trying to do all these things on my own. Which, consequently, makes them seem harder AND more frustrating and overwhelming. I am reminded of the verse from Phillipians that says:
"Do not be anxious about anything but in everthing, by PRAYER and PETITION, present your
requests to God. And the PEACE of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Phillipians 4:6-7
God takes away our anxiousness and in its place brings peace. Not any peace, but one that transcends all understanding...one that none of us can even imagine! And he promises that his peace will guard our hearts and minds in him. Something I definitly need to do more of...PRAY. Pray and ask God to take those things that I am dealing with, that seem overwhelming, frustrating and out of my control in Youth Ministry and just give them to him. Tell him to use me for the work of his Kingdom and resist the urge to do things on my own.
To be able to, in the moment of extreme stressful and anxiety, whether during a youth event, or getting ready for 3 differnet talks, or whatever it may be, sit down and just pray, "Lord, take this and let it glorify you Father. Help me to release any anxiety I have and know that you are with me and will carry me through this when I can't"
God is starting to teach Stephen and I about what ministry is all about. About the time committment, the long hours, the worrying about students, the setting up and taking down, the planning, the organizing, the pressures, the mental stretching. He is starting to shape us in ways we didn't think were possible, all the while we want to serve and follow him. It is tough a lot of the time, but we know this is where God wants us to be. We learning when to say no to things...and when to say yes. And we are learning how to protect each other and be able to encourage each other in Christ. We love what we do, and we want to continue to pray and ask God to give us strength to not burn ourselves out, and to take all of our worries, cares and anxieties to him. He is the only one that will give us, me...true peace.
Friday, October 21, 2005
God thinks you're beauitful!
So I am just having one of those days...girls I think you know the ones I am talking about. The day where you wake up, and no matter what you put on, or how you do your hair or your makeup...you still feel yucky?
Nothing you have in your closet looks appealing, no amount of "playing" with your hair makes it look different or stylish, and your make up never changes, it always looks the same because you don't know any other way to put it on! You start thinking about how you would just love to go on a shopping spree, buy some new clothes and shoes and wear them around.
But guess what? Those new clothes that you thought would make you feel better...they won't. They might for awhile, but sooner or later they will become old and forgotten about. They will get shoved to the bottom of your drawer and the famous "I need new clothes...I have nothing to wear" will come out again.
Yup...thats about exactly how I'm feeling today. I'm feeling rather dull, not so nice looking, and in need of a drastic fashion makeover. The silly part is I understand that they won't make me feel better. At the time it might...I'll take the clothes home put them on and stare at myself in the mirror and TELL myself I look better.
Why is it that I think that the clothes I wear will make me more beauitful? Isn't beauty found inside, in the person that I am? My personality and my natural beauty?
It is funny that I am having "one of those days", because just last night I picked up a book from my sister for my jr. high youth. It is called "THE BEAUTY BOOK" by Nancy Rue and it is for ages 8-12. But really it is so important for people of older ages because we so often forget. God made us beauitful, exactly how we are, different from anyone else because he wanted each of us to be special. Amazing thought hey! That he cared enough to make me different from someone else. Makes you wonder why we so often compare ourselves to others. If any of you have little girls that are between the ages of 8-12 or have little girls that will eventually be that age, get this book! Its a great little thing for them to read through and answer questions and quizzes and learn more about themselves. I am so excited to go through this book with my jr high girls group and hopefully point them in the direction of looking to God to find their beauty. I need to be reminded of it today! God thinks I'm beauitful and thats all that matters.
Nothing you have in your closet looks appealing, no amount of "playing" with your hair makes it look different or stylish, and your make up never changes, it always looks the same because you don't know any other way to put it on! You start thinking about how you would just love to go on a shopping spree, buy some new clothes and shoes and wear them around.
But guess what? Those new clothes that you thought would make you feel better...they won't. They might for awhile, but sooner or later they will become old and forgotten about. They will get shoved to the bottom of your drawer and the famous "I need new clothes...I have nothing to wear" will come out again.
Yup...thats about exactly how I'm feeling today. I'm feeling rather dull, not so nice looking, and in need of a drastic fashion makeover. The silly part is I understand that they won't make me feel better. At the time it might...I'll take the clothes home put them on and stare at myself in the mirror and TELL myself I look better.
Why is it that I think that the clothes I wear will make me more beauitful? Isn't beauty found inside, in the person that I am? My personality and my natural beauty?
It is funny that I am having "one of those days", because just last night I picked up a book from my sister for my jr. high youth. It is called "THE BEAUTY BOOK" by Nancy Rue and it is for ages 8-12. But really it is so important for people of older ages because we so often forget. God made us beauitful, exactly how we are, different from anyone else because he wanted each of us to be special. Amazing thought hey! That he cared enough to make me different from someone else. Makes you wonder why we so often compare ourselves to others. If any of you have little girls that are between the ages of 8-12 or have little girls that will eventually be that age, get this book! Its a great little thing for them to read through and answer questions and quizzes and learn more about themselves. I am so excited to go through this book with my jr high girls group and hopefully point them in the direction of looking to God to find their beauty. I need to be reminded of it today! God thinks I'm beauitful and thats all that matters.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Joy vs. Happiness
It has come to my attention that I need to be more joyful. Sure I can be happy a lot of the time...but I believe they are both two totally different things.
I am usually happy when things go my way...when something great happens that I obviously can be happy about. But what about the times when things don't go my way? When something happens that is out of my plan, or even when something happens that doesn't really get me excited?
Those are the times that I need to practice JOY. Joy is being happy when I dont' always feel like it. Joy I believe, is the outward expression of God's love in us, and God working through us. Shouldn't we always be joyful becuase we know that Christ lives in us and works through us always for the GOOD!! I think about all the times that I am not joyful, just because I have nothing to be happy about. I should always have something to be joyful about! I can be happy about those things that I love or enjoy...but I can CHOOSE to be joyful ALL the time.
I think it could make a big difference in my life as to the way I treat others, the way I treat and interact with my husband, and the way I can glorify God.
Just a little something to think about. So today, I am going to CHOOSE to be joyful because God calls me to be and because I have So much to be joyful about, even when life doensn't seem to be going my way.
I am usually happy when things go my way...when something great happens that I obviously can be happy about. But what about the times when things don't go my way? When something happens that is out of my plan, or even when something happens that doesn't really get me excited?
Those are the times that I need to practice JOY. Joy is being happy when I dont' always feel like it. Joy I believe, is the outward expression of God's love in us, and God working through us. Shouldn't we always be joyful becuase we know that Christ lives in us and works through us always for the GOOD!! I think about all the times that I am not joyful, just because I have nothing to be happy about. I should always have something to be joyful about! I can be happy about those things that I love or enjoy...but I can CHOOSE to be joyful ALL the time.
I think it could make a big difference in my life as to the way I treat others, the way I treat and interact with my husband, and the way I can glorify God.
Just a little something to think about. So today, I am going to CHOOSE to be joyful because God calls me to be and because I have So much to be joyful about, even when life doensn't seem to be going my way.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Friendships and the Fruits of the Spirit
So last night at Jr. Youth God definitly challenged me. I love the fact that God can use me and teach me at the same time! Not only through the kids but through the little God talks that we have. They aren't anything long...maybe 10 minutes or so but I love them!
Last night we got talking about the fruits of the spirit and how we need to look for the fruits of the spirit in our friendships. GOOD IDEA! Why did no one tell me about this 5 years ago when I first started grade 9. I couldn't help but sit there and think back upon all of the friendships that I have had...and sad to say most of the friends I had didn't possess any of the fruits of the spirit. What was I thinking? Not only were these people taking themselves down, they were bringing me with them! I remember in high school feeling really discouraged most of the time about my friends. I always wanted more out of them, expected more and now I realize why! Because, deep down those fruits of the spirit were important to me. For me to feel like I benefited from a friendship I needed to see that the person I was friends wanted the same thing as me. But none of them did. So I felt betrayed, let down and ultimately that nothing was ever "REAL". It was all superficial. It really is discouraging when you don't have anyone that you can connect with, that can be an encouragement to you. More importantly be an encouragement in CHRIST. Last night made me realize how important it should have been for me to find QUALITY friends. Once I graduated high school, it was like this giant slap in the face. Where were my friends? Where were those people that I thought cared about me and wanted to hang out with me. They were all gone. I realized for the first time, that if I wanted friendships to last, I needed to find people that wanted that to.
All those years I wasted on friendships that I thought were fulfilling, but were only physically fulfilling. Only "here on this earth" fulfilling. They weren't spiritually encouraging or mentally fulfilling at all. I began to rekindle my friendships with those people that truly cared about my spiritual well being. Those people that enjoyed my company and wanted to uplifted by me. And I love the friendships that I have made now and have rekindled these last few years. I appreciate those of you (and you know who you are) who constantly are an encouragement to me and have never left my side. You posses those fruits of the spirit. You posses love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Many of you I can think of that are really great at a few things:) I wanted to say thank you for following God's leading and obeying his commands when he tells us to posses the fruits of the spirit. You truly have blessed my life! I love having friends like you!
Last night we got talking about the fruits of the spirit and how we need to look for the fruits of the spirit in our friendships. GOOD IDEA! Why did no one tell me about this 5 years ago when I first started grade 9. I couldn't help but sit there and think back upon all of the friendships that I have had...and sad to say most of the friends I had didn't possess any of the fruits of the spirit. What was I thinking? Not only were these people taking themselves down, they were bringing me with them! I remember in high school feeling really discouraged most of the time about my friends. I always wanted more out of them, expected more and now I realize why! Because, deep down those fruits of the spirit were important to me. For me to feel like I benefited from a friendship I needed to see that the person I was friends wanted the same thing as me. But none of them did. So I felt betrayed, let down and ultimately that nothing was ever "REAL". It was all superficial. It really is discouraging when you don't have anyone that you can connect with, that can be an encouragement to you. More importantly be an encouragement in CHRIST. Last night made me realize how important it should have been for me to find QUALITY friends. Once I graduated high school, it was like this giant slap in the face. Where were my friends? Where were those people that I thought cared about me and wanted to hang out with me. They were all gone. I realized for the first time, that if I wanted friendships to last, I needed to find people that wanted that to.
All those years I wasted on friendships that I thought were fulfilling, but were only physically fulfilling. Only "here on this earth" fulfilling. They weren't spiritually encouraging or mentally fulfilling at all. I began to rekindle my friendships with those people that truly cared about my spiritual well being. Those people that enjoyed my company and wanted to uplifted by me. And I love the friendships that I have made now and have rekindled these last few years. I appreciate those of you (and you know who you are) who constantly are an encouragement to me and have never left my side. You posses those fruits of the spirit. You posses love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Many of you I can think of that are really great at a few things:) I wanted to say thank you for following God's leading and obeying his commands when he tells us to posses the fruits of the spirit. You truly have blessed my life! I love having friends like you!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Honeymoon!!!!
This is a late buffet night! Incredible works of art! This is watermelon carved into a bunny rabbit. There were all different animals!
This is in Costa Maya, Mexico! It was of the most beautiful places we stopped! This was the pool with the swim up bar. Farther down was the actual ocean.
This is deck 11 on the ship, which contained an outdoor deck with 3 pools! It was amazing.
Stephen and I on our first formal night! I loved that we got to dress up!So I've finally gotten time to post some honeymoon pictures! We took lots and lots of pictures, I think we counted over 200! But I'll just post a few on here.
Stephen and I went on a Royal Carribean Cruise to the Carribean for our honeymoon! It was truly an unforgetable experience. It was relaxing and exciting and full of things to do, but also we had time to just relax and lay by the pool and suntan! We flew to Miami, Florida a week after our wedding and stayed the night there in a hotel that the cruise line put us up in! (It was amazing!). Our ship left port in Miami the next day in the morning. When we woke up we could see our ship from our hotel window! We had four stops on the cruise, the first was to Belize City, Belize. The second was to Costa Maya, Mexico and the third to Cozumel Mexico. The last was to the Grand Caymen Islands, which was our favorite and hopefully we will be back there sometime in the future!
Wonderful people and amazing service! It was fun meeting people from all over the world. Hardly any of them spoke English and if they did it took A LOT of work to understand them! But that was the funnest part!
Enjoy the pictures, if you want to see more just ask us about the trip! We love gushing about it!
Another Thanksgiving come and gone...
Stephen and I just got back last night from visiting Caronport for the weekend. We drove down late Friday night to spend the weekend with his Mom and Dad and sister Julia. It was a great time!
It always amazes me how peaceful Caronport is. You can't help but feel relaxed and safe there. One of my favorite things to do when we come to Caronport is go for a long walk with Stephen's awesome dog Coda (she is a Golden Retriever...so beauitful!). Stephen and I were able to do that on Sunday night and the stars outside were gorgeous!
We spent a wonderful time hanging out with the fam, playing games, and eating LOTS of food. We celebrated Julia's birthday a week early and ate a huge ham dinner. She loved our gift, yah!
On Sunday we went to church and spent the afternoon lazing around, my favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon! We drove into Regina just before supper time to have turkey dinner with Stephen's grandparents and aunt and uncle and cousins. We played a rousing game of Put and Take...probably the greatest game I have learnt in the past while!
It is definitly nice to be home and back in our own bed, but it is always nice visiting the Thiessens:) This next week is a busy one, so the relaxed weekend was definitly a gift!
Unfortunately we forgot our camera (we always do that!) so we don't have any pictures of the weekend! But we are workign on that remembering part and so hopefully we will bring it next time!
until next time....
It always amazes me how peaceful Caronport is. You can't help but feel relaxed and safe there. One of my favorite things to do when we come to Caronport is go for a long walk with Stephen's awesome dog Coda (she is a Golden Retriever...so beauitful!). Stephen and I were able to do that on Sunday night and the stars outside were gorgeous!
We spent a wonderful time hanging out with the fam, playing games, and eating LOTS of food. We celebrated Julia's birthday a week early and ate a huge ham dinner. She loved our gift, yah!
On Sunday we went to church and spent the afternoon lazing around, my favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon! We drove into Regina just before supper time to have turkey dinner with Stephen's grandparents and aunt and uncle and cousins. We played a rousing game of Put and Take...probably the greatest game I have learnt in the past while!
It is definitly nice to be home and back in our own bed, but it is always nice visiting the Thiessens:) This next week is a busy one, so the relaxed weekend was definitly a gift!
Unfortunately we forgot our camera (we always do that!) so we don't have any pictures of the weekend! But we are workign on that remembering part and so hopefully we will bring it next time!
until next time....
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Marriage...sweet Marriage...
So we are finally hitched! Stephen and I got married this summer on August 2oth in Saskatoon. We loved every minute of our day, and thank you to all who came to support us! Our honeymoon was amazing, and pictures will be posted soon!We are now back in Saskatoon, where we are living for the year. Stephen is doing his internship at Cornerstone Church. He is currently attending Briercrest College in Caronport and is in his third year of a 4 year Bachelor Degree in Youth Ministry. I am currently working for a computer consulting company as the administrative assistant. I am going on my second year of being employed there. Life is great...we are truly blessed and so in love!
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