Do not be anxious about ANYTHING

Yesterday at church I think I almost was on the verge of a mental collapse. My mind was racing, and the more and more I realized I had to do, the more overwhelmed I became. I was having some definite anxiety.

You see...I am involved in Church Ministry. Youth Ministry to be exact. My husband Stephen is currently doing his internship at our church, Cornerstone Mennonite for a BA in Youth Ministry. For any of you that have ever been involved in any Ministry involving the church, whether is be Camp related, or Music, or leadership in the church(elders), or Youth Ministry, you will understand how mentally and physically exhausting it can be. If we are not careful...we can quickly run ourselves into the ground and eventually run out of steam before we have even began. Somehow putting 8 hours into a day, soon becomes 10, then 12 and so on. We love our jobs so much, that all we want to do is serve, but we forget that we need to be careful about taking care of ourselves and our families.

I love being apart of Youth Ministry. I love the kids and I love being able to watch as they grow in Christ and begin to understand why exactly they are here on this earth. What is even better is that my husband and I both love to do it together. He is a wonderful leader, and a gifted speaker, teacher and mentor. I am a gifted at administrating, teaching, organizing and leading as well. We tend to both get involved in many things because we love doing them, and we are good at them. The problem lies in the amount of time we have to give.

I find myself restling with thoughts that go something like this..."God, I don't have time for all of this! What about my husband...we are just newly married. Why dont' I feel like we have enough time together. I can't handle all these things God! A full time job, a full time comittment to jr. high and sr. high ministries! God, HELP!"
But am I feeling selfish? Is it really warranted that I feel this way? I wrestle with those things. My life seems completely full. I work a full time job, mon-fri, and also work 2 nights a week at a local christian coffee shop...I am at youth 2 nights a week, and then saturday nights for college and career. I run a cell group for 11 junior high girls...and I help out at church with the nursary and wherever else they may need me. Sometimes I can get anxious about any one of these things. Like yesterday...my mind goes over all the things I have to do in the coming week. It starts to become overwhelmed because in the midst of all of my commitments and work I wonder when I will get to spend a night with my husband, or with my family?

I think I understand today what God was trying to teach me yesterday. I am trying to do all these things on my own. Which, consequently, makes them seem harder AND more frustrating and overwhelming. I am reminded of the verse from Phillipians that says:

"Do not be anxious about anything but in everthing, by PRAYER and PETITION, present your
requests to God. And the PEACE of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Phillipians 4:6-7

God takes away our anxiousness and in its place brings peace. Not any peace, but one that transcends all understanding...one that none of us can even imagine! And he promises that his peace will guard our hearts and minds in him. Something I definitly need to do more of...PRAY. Pray and ask God to take those things that I am dealing with, that seem overwhelming, frustrating and out of my control in Youth Ministry and just give them to him. Tell him to use me for the work of his Kingdom and resist the urge to do things on my own.
To be able to, in the moment of extreme stressful and anxiety, whether during a youth event, or getting ready for 3 differnet talks, or whatever it may be, sit down and just pray, "Lord, take this and let it glorify you Father. Help me to release any anxiety I have and know that you are with me and will carry me through this when I can't"

God is starting to teach Stephen and I about what ministry is all about. About the time committment, the long hours, the worrying about students, the setting up and taking down, the planning, the organizing, the pressures, the mental stretching. He is starting to shape us in ways we didn't think were possible, all the while we want to serve and follow him. It is tough a lot of the time, but we know this is where God wants us to be. We learning when to say no to things...and when to say yes. And we are learning how to protect each other and be able to encourage each other in Christ. We love what we do, and we want to continue to pray and ask God to give us strength to not burn ourselves out, and to take all of our worries, cares and anxieties to him. He is the only one that will give us, me...true peace.